ABOUT ME, A STORY FOR FUN

5/31/16

ABOUT ME!

I doubt that many of you will care, but I thought I would let everyone know some of my past activity. By doing this you may at last know what caused me to be the way I am. My family has wondered for years, past and present and this hopefully will enlighten them as well.

To “splain my curmudgeonly and misuse of English language” you need to know I am older than dirt. I was born before tractors, balers and all the modern things that make the farm life easy. I was born on a farm South of Brookfield on Academy Road. By the time I was three or four, a pitchfork and I had become very familiar. I was mowing loose hay with the best of them’

They only allowed me to milk five cows because of my young age. Besides, I was drinking too much of the product. When it came to plowing, I was up against it. The horses were too large for me to harness and besides, the handles on the plow were too high and I was not long legged enough to keep up with the horses.

In my fifth year, my father took a job lumberjacking in the north woods. We, as a family, went along. The evening hours were spent with my mother educating me since there were no schools in the deep woods. I excelled in calculus, biology and of course reading and I started writing my first book entitled ”The Likelihood of Becoming all You Can Be and How to Do IT”. I wish I had spent more time on editing.

After three years at this, we moved again. Fortunately, I was now able to sharpen a crosscut saw and an ax. I Knew how to use a pike and a peavy. Those last two were needed when you are dancing down the river as you balance and guide the logs to the loading destination. Unfortunately, I did not get to learn about the operation of a sawmill.

As we left the North Woods, we fortunately, stopped in Old Forge NY. There at the age of seven I was fortunate enough to meet Paul Bunyan. He was hiring workers for a new project and as he learned of my abilities he asked me to sign on. I did! What an adventure awaited me. A month later after sailing on a Windjammer and learning as much as I could about being a seaman we landed in North Africa.

Two more days of travel by camel we arrived at the gateway to the Sahara Forest. It took us 10 years of uncontrolled logging and now we sadly created the Sahara Desert!! I have been on the run from the angry radicals from Africa ever since

.Available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

THE CURMUDGEON’S VIEW OF PARKNG LOT DODOS AND OTHER JERKS by Neale Mclintock 6/29/’15

When my better half, Nancy is shopping for groceries and such, I sit in the car and pass the time listening to the radio and observing what goes on in the area. Besides traffic of all sorts, I see some people that I wonder about. Some I feel sorry for , some, I admire and some I get angry at. The reason I put myself in this position is another story. Just let it be said that Nancy has a more enjoyable time shopping if I am not present. Chauffeuring will suffice as far as she is concerned.

At any rate, One of the things I admire are the people who park way out in the spaces where there are no other cars. They like exercise and realize there is less of a chance for getting dinged by someone else’s door. Smart people, those.

It is surprising how many senior citizens park away from the store and use this as an exercise moment. Good planning and probably the Doctor likes that idea. I myself at times get out and walk around the entire lot. I should do that more often by the looks of my waist line.

Other people are amusing in a way. It is surprising how many shoppers seem to be talking to themselves as they walk by all alone. Maybe they are singing but they have a serious look on their countenance. I like to sing along with the music on the radio, but then I am moving MY lips. I decided to practice ventriloquism as I sing and now no one can wonder why my lips are moving. I guess I could hum but it would not be the same.

An angry sight is the money guy who has the hot car and takes up two spaces by diagonally parking in a parallel space and takes up two spaces. That should warrant a ticket, especially during the holiday season.

It is almost comical to watch people unload their carts into the vehicle and then try to decide where to take the cart. Distance judging is not a strong point for many people. Most people take the cart to the kiosk and let it go at that even tho the store parking area is closer. Those are the respectable shopper. Then there are the uncaring people who just drive away and leave the carts as tho they were glued in place when empty. They are out in the open where the wind can drive them across the lot and into someone else’s car. Not a good thing , folks.

Finally, I must talk about the “handicapped parking”. People, that does not mean that you may park there if you are short on time or intelligence or both! At first I felt sorry for the young vigorous people who used the area. Were they afflicted with an unseen disease or problem at such a tender age.? Some of them seemed to think they were about to expire at any moment. They would get out of the car and run to the store and soon run back out. I was glad to see them drive away since I would have hated to dial 911 for one so young, Finally, I realized that they were just lazy and had borrowed poor old grandma’s card to save a little time. In the meantime the elderly man or women who could barely walk and needed cans, crutch, walker or wheel chair had to struggle to get in and out of the store.

At times like these last situations I wish I had a trained dog or seagull that would go over and wet the wheels or mess up the windshield of those cars and maybe drop a load on them as they came out.

THE HELPFUL CURMUDGEON By Neale McClintock. 6/26/’15

It is time to write about happenings at our diner where the Coffee Club and Art Group meet for the daily caffeine jolt. Usually one of our faithful and friendly servers has opened and a few early risers show up before the other servers arrive. We get special first customer of the day treatment and it is a nice way to start our creative and world problem solving meetings.

Unfortunately, a large group of customers had agreed to meet there for breakfast and had not notified the staff and as a result , the server on hand was, as they say, “slammed”. We could see that she was a bit flustered and as is the custom, Linda from our table got up to lend her usual helping hand. I decided to aid the attempt and went along to help by carrying a tray with various drinks.

Having never done this before, you can imagine how surprised I was when a women stuffed a dollar in my waist band as I bent over to give her her coffee. I innocently said thank you and in my usual fluid method of walking I went on to the next table . As the morning wore on it seemed that this was a common thing for this group to do.

After an hour, I had a nice belt of cash. It seems that dollar bills were in short supply, I guess, because they started dropping change in, instead. I should not mention this but the next problem was caused by the fact that I wear tidy whities and after while, as the change gathered, I started to jingle as I walked. The ladies got quite a chuckle out of that. The thing that caused me great embarrassment was when one of the boldest of them tried to make change!!

I should say that this was not all bad. Sitting over in the far corner was a scout searching for new talent for a new Senior Male Stripper team.

THE CURMUDGEON’S ON OBEYING TRAFFIC SIGNS AND LAWS BY NEALE MCCLINTOCK

THE CURMUDGEON’S

ON OBEYING TRAFFIC SIGNS AND LAWS

NEALE MCCLINTOCK

16 JUNE ’15

Around a year ago, some of you may remember my “To heck with it, I will break a traffic law today!” And if you remember the caper, it involved the lane marking lines, the dividers if you prefer, and willfully crossing a double solid line. My conscience demands that I confess to the fact that I did it! In a very crooked segment of Gorton road I foolishly and with intent, let, first my left front tire, followed by my left rear tire cross into the forbidden zone. Sadly, I feel no great pang of guilt from this, though I know I did a bad thing.

What does that paragraph have to do with this topic? /well I found out that you caN make people angry with and at you by observing some signs!

I was diving on another crooked road when I came o a sign that said”Do Not Pass!” Not knowing of the danger I was being cautioned for, I stopped. I waited. And waited and waited some more. Even the people behind me grew impatient and I started to hear horns and angry shouts. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw a long line of autos of all sorts and a few semi tractor trailers in back of me. Some of them were really angry and were flashing an angry finger motion toward the sign. Finally they got mad enough to cross the double solid line and pass me and they completely ignored the “DO NOT PASS” sign. Boy, I am glad there were no police around. They would be very busy writing tickets for double violations.

Having learned that breaking traffic laws was not a good thing to do a year ago, I finally turned around and found an alternate route. That acti0n caused a FEW FINGER WAVES TOO.

THE CURMUDGEON’S VIEWS ON FAIR TAXATION (THE RICH GET THE BEST DEAL)

I hear that the wealthy are unfairly taxed. Right wing conservatives are always whining that the tax system is unfair to those who have more money than they know what to do with. Boener, the Speaker of the House and McConnell, the leader of the Senate majority fight and legislate against taxes on the rich and do all they can to reduce them. O f course all the Ann Rand influenced profiteers, both individual and corporate, pay them off with contributions for the next election costs. Along with that the conservatives fight against Social Security and Medicare and food stamps and any other program that would help the middle and lower classes of the economic system. Infrastructure, roads, bridges, the military and so on must be cut in budgeting according to them. They will force through military equipment manufacture if it helps out the old boy financier.

They are usually in favor of the military for that reason and because war is profitable for them and it also can be used for protecting oil uses. The other side of this is that they don’t want to support the veteran programs afterwords. Many bills have been turned down by them in the past two years.

Where am I going with this rant?? The easy point is that the above people get far more value from infrastructure than the working man does. Why? THEY NEED TO MOVE THEIR PRODCTS. They should pay more for it.
My main point in all this is this: When it comes to wages and salaries for the common man, all the money goes to living expenses, Food, rent, insurance, transportation to work, and charitable giving. If there is enough, the prudent family will even try to have a savings account and maybe gamble a bit in the stock market.

Granted, the wealthy have the same and more household expenses including servants and nannies for example. They need more money to support their lifestyle. I will give them that but beyond that they have excess money called profit. That money SHOULD have a bit more tax on it so that they can help out in all the sundry government programs that benefit them. Instead they receive subsidy’s and write offs of all sorts and as a result they pay a lower rate of tax on this money than their employees pay on their taxable income.

Reaganomics helps the rich and the idea does not TRICKLE DOWN. The money went side ways to China , etc.

PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES 2016

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MY PROPOSAL FOR THE NEXT DEBATE SESSION, 2016
NJM Curmudgeon

It seems that we have Way too many candidates ready to run for the presidency this time. Upwards to twenty have indicated that they will run for the Office on the Republican side. and maybe four on the Democrat side. There is no way that order can be maintained with this number of power hungry men trying to become the next leader of the wealthy class . Even Pataki and Santorum have announced.

There has been a discussion by some pundits on the debates and how they can be run efficiently and coherently with that many greedy power mad individuals fighting over the same bone.

I think I have a plan for them: Send them all to South Florida for the winter season. Contract with the Barnum, Bailey and Ringling brothers for the Big Top. That will be large enough to hold them. Once established send them all to costume for clown suits and find a car large enough for them, their advisers and the make up specialist.

On the day of the first debate load em up and send them in to the tune, “Send in the Clowns.” To make the debate more interesting , Let Hillary moderate and let Sanders, Biden, Webb and Mc murry and oh yes, That senator from Mass Warren. W
who makes good sense be the Judges and timers. The speed of the clowns will determine who sits where and there will be one seat missing. The candidate who has no chair will get one but he will have the first question.

One week later the positions will be changed and the Democrats will wear the clown suits. Let me know what you think

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