I doubt that many of you will care, but I thought I would let everyone know some of my past activity. By doing this you may at last know what caused me to be the way I am. My family has wondered for years, past and present and this hopefully will enlighten them as well.
To “splain my curmudgeonly and misuse of English language” you need to know I am older than dirt. I was born before tractors, balers and all the modern things that make the farm life easy. I was born on a farm South of Brookfield on Academy Road. By the time I was three or four, a pitchfork and I had become very familiar. I was mowing loose hay with the best of them’
They only allowed me to milk five cows because of my young age. Besides, I was drinking too much of the product. When it came to plowing, I was up against it. The horses were too large for me to harness and besides, the handles on the plow were too high and I was not long legged enough to keep up with the horses.
In my fifth year, my father took a job lumberjacking in the north woods. We, as a family, went along. The evening hours were spent with my mother educating me since there were no schools in the deep woods. I excelled in calculus, biology and of course reading and I started writing my first book entitled ”The Likelihood of Becoming all You Can Be and How to Do IT”. I wish I had spent more time on editing.
After three years at this, we moved again. Fortunately, I was now able to sharpen a crosscut saw and an ax. I Knew how to use a pike and a peavy. Those last two were needed when you are dancing down the river as you balance and guide the logs to the loading destination. Unfortunately, I did not get to learn about the operation of a sawmill.
As we left the North Woods, we fortunately, stopped in Old Forge NY. There at the age of seven I was fortunate enough to meet Paul Bunyan. He was hiring workers for a new project and as he learned of my abilities he asked me to sign on. I did! What an adventure awaited me. A month later after sailing on a Windjammer and learning as much as I could about being a seaman we landed in North Africa.
Two more days of travel by camel we arrived at the gateway to the Sahara Forest. It took us 10 years of uncontrolled logging and now we sadly created the Sahara Desert!! I have been on the run from the angry radicals from Africa ever since
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