THE HELPFUL CURMUDGEON By Neale McClintock. 6/26/’15

It is time to write about happenings at our diner where the Coffee Club and Art Group meet for the daily caffeine jolt. Usually one of our faithful and friendly servers has opened and a few early risers show up before the other servers arrive. We get special first customer of the day treatment and it is a nice way to start our creative and world problem solving meetings.

Unfortunately, a large group of customers had agreed to meet there for breakfast and had not notified the staff and as a result , the server on hand was, as they say, “slammed”. We could see that she was a bit flustered and as is the custom, Linda from our table got up to lend her usual helping hand. I decided to aid the attempt and went along to help by carrying a tray with various drinks.

Having never done this before, you can imagine how surprised I was when a women stuffed a dollar in my waist band as I bent over to give her her coffee. I innocently said thank you and in my usual fluid method of walking I went on to the next table . As the morning wore on it seemed that this was a common thing for this group to do.

After an hour, I had a nice belt of cash. It seems that dollar bills were in short supply, I guess, because they started dropping change in, instead. I should not mention this but the next problem was caused by the fact that I wear tidy whities and after while, as the change gathered, I started to jingle as I walked. The ladies got quite a chuckle out of that. The thing that caused me great embarrassment was when one of the boldest of them tried to make change!!

I should say that this was not all bad. Sitting over in the far corner was a scout searching for new talent for a new Senior Male Stripper team.

PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES 2016

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MY PROPOSAL FOR THE NEXT DEBATE SESSION, 2016
NJM Curmudgeon

It seems that we have Way too many candidates ready to run for the presidency this time. Upwards to twenty have indicated that they will run for the Office on the Republican side. and maybe four on the Democrat side. There is no way that order can be maintained with this number of power hungry men trying to become the next leader of the wealthy class . Even Pataki and Santorum have announced.

There has been a discussion by some pundits on the debates and how they can be run efficiently and coherently with that many greedy power mad individuals fighting over the same bone.

I think I have a plan for them: Send them all to South Florida for the winter season. Contract with the Barnum, Bailey and Ringling brothers for the Big Top. That will be large enough to hold them. Once established send them all to costume for clown suits and find a car large enough for them, their advisers and the make up specialist.

On the day of the first debate load em up and send them in to the tune, “Send in the Clowns.” To make the debate more interesting , Let Hillary moderate and let Sanders, Biden, Webb and Mc murry and oh yes, That senator from Mass Warren. W
who makes good sense be the Judges and timers. The speed of the clowns will determine who sits where and there will be one seat missing. The candidate who has no chair will get one but he will have the first question.

One week later the positions will be changed and the Democrats will wear the clown suits. Let me know what you think

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